What's Causing Disorder?

"For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition,
 there you will find disorder and evil of every kind." James 3:16

I know that I cause alot of my grief and frustration by my selfishness.
My sons want my attention and I want to sit and watch tv or read
and be left alone. I suffer from this "evil" all the time as we all do.

"If you are wise and understand God's ways, prove it by living and honorable life,
doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don't cover up the truth with boasting and lying For jealousy and selfishness are not God's kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic." 
James 3:13-15

Sometimes when I read the Word I think well God why did you make us this way? 
We want to blame God for all of our flaws and all the evils in the world, but I think that it's us we need to point the finger back to. We have great potential, unexplored and undiscovered 
within each of us. We have to choose to develop and to build our character day by day, 
by each choice we make. 

It's a struggle I am one to talk being bipolar most of my life and just realizing how deep that emotional imbalance goes into all parts of my life now and in the past. Wow!
 it was a big moment for me and it still is to say that I am in fact bipolar and to continue pushing forward with my writing and my posts. 
I am not retarded or slow or mentally incapable, 
I am off balanced emotionally and have to take precaution in the choices I make 
and be real with myself, my struggles and my flaws 
and I think it's a good thing to look 
at all your imperfections and to say 
yep I could definately work on this area of my life. 
Sure people may judge you and laugh at you, 
but inside you will be doing yourself a big favor and the world,
 by being real and working on yourself 
from the inside out and it will show 
you will have more real and lasting friendships and relationships 
with people that matter because they are there no matter what 
and you will be happier for doing so.


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