Now, Now, Now

I want it now, I just can't wait I've gotta have it right now! Does this sound familiar to you? Maybe reminds you of a child or even yourself? It does remind me of my children but certainly myself as well. We have been wanting to buy a house for maybe 2 years now and to this day we have $0 saved in the bank and our debt is about the same as it was a year ago. I am ashamed to admit that I just haven't tackled the addiction I have with online shopping. I compare it to a drug addiction it gives me a high, it allows me to have what I want very quickly, the consequences are there but not immediately felt, the rush is real but with every high comes the gravity of going down off that high and the negative self-feelings of shame, disappointment, frustration, and the reality being face to face with your new total balance for paypal which in two days I spent $500 maxing out my paypal credit of $2k. Wow! You did what! Dang girl you have some issues.....yeah those reactions would be accurate. I appreciate your concern and I need deliverance from this for sure I need to find contentment with now, with today, with my lot in life as Soloman so elogquently communicates it in Ecclesiastes, I love that because it speaks to me to my core, I know it's for me, is it for you? Maybe you also have some issues? They are under control now ,sure you are away from the temptations of the world in prison. They take all that away from you; but one day, hopefully you will get out and bam the temptations, your addictions will be staring you in the face- will you take the rush for a quick return right now? Dont do it! The regret, the feelings of failure, the shame is real and will hit you harder than that quick high. It's really not worth it is it? No! I don't think so. I really want to be out of this trap of being slave to debt, slave to the rush of that high to get what I want now, now, I need help, yes, I need Jesus, I need more spirit and less flesh, more faith and less stuff. When will I get it? When will I overcome this? Why not now?
Now, is as good as any considering I dont know if tomorrow is in my forecast, do you? I know that I have this breath right now and the next well I'm not sure are you? Who am I putting first, what are my priorities, what's really important to me? I might say one thing, I might think it's one thing but my actions, the way I spend my time that tells the truth doesn't it. I hope by me being really real with you in sharing some of my stuff you will do the same.
Let's pray, “Lord help me get my priorities straight, if I really want to serve you then I know that I need to reorganize the way I spend my time. I am weak and easily tempted, give me strength send me the encouragement I need. In Jesus' name, amen”

Wow as im getting ready to type this a facebook official is texting me that I won $500,000 do you also wonder what the catch is? I've long ago learned an important lesson rich men don't give away their money and nothing is given to you without a catch, man isn't in the business of getting rich to give it away only Jesus gave away his life as a free gift for us to have eternal life and be with our Father God, man is only in what they can get from you so never fall for a too good to be true get rich quick scheme. You need to be ready to work for what you get and work hard at it, be prepared to fail, and to fall but be quick to get back up and try it again, persevere and don't give up Jesus is our hope, truth, and brings us life no amount of money will give me what I already have in Christ my salvation can't be replaced or bought. If I did have that extra money I would buy a RV and start travelling to come and see you with a message of hope and encouragement. That's my hearts desire and buy some land with space for our dogs to run wild and a stock pond for Joseph to go fishing and build a cabin loft for us to live frugally with some modern conveniences such as electricity, solar panels for conserving electricity, a washer/dryer, I would love to have the option to cook campfire style but I also love to bake and have a stove so yeah a stove, wifi if I had a smart phone I could manage even though it's nice to have the entertainment of netflix for the boys at this age but we'd definitely have outdoor play time with a playhouse for them and maybe some riding toys. Dreaming is important and fun. None the less it's also important to be stable in contentment with where you are now.
So, he asked for my full name, email, address, cell so I gave to him but now im checking under facebook scams and sure enough its on there. This is important to be aware of the scams out there so many times we almost bought something online or even did just to realize it was a scam they would charge our bank account over n over or we remembered to check the scam lists first and saved our money and hassle of stopping payments. Be wiser than the slickest snakes out there lol! As soon as I confronted the guy he quickly unfriended me and I reported him to facebook, boom! LOL!

Now if you're a grownup who wasn't trained in God's ways as a child it's going to be even more challenging as an adult to follow His ways and not yours and it's going to take greater discipline, humility, surrendering of self and a lot of repentance to succeed as a new born child of God. The world could care less they want you on their party boat not on the highway to heaven which is narrow and so few choose. Living for Christ isn't a party, it takes hard work and self discipline to stick with it just like anything worth fighting for and working for. It's worth it to me, is it to you? I was delivered from evil, darkness, purged and cleansed in my heart so I could feel love again in my heart, I was forgiven of much and forgave much I'm not walking backwards down that dark ally of disease, disappointment, desires laced with spikes that mean to kill my very soul, no thank you!
As a new creation in Christ God does change our hearts desires and he gives us new ones; but we stilll have a will and a choice, he doesn't make us prisoners; he gives us freedom to choose. It starts with having a humble, servants heart if we are going to be more, give more, and do more for God's glory and we need to be content, “be still and know that I am God”; He's going to take care of us if we will follow Him and trust Him. Grasping for happiness beyond where we are will lead us astray and cause ultimate disaster when we do not feel satisfied even with that. Feelings are temporary that's why we need to tame them not allow them to rule us. If you think , “Ill be happy when (this happens) feel in the blank.” This type of stinking thinking will steal your joy and peace of mind and pollute your heart with selfish desires and it replaces the focus on serving others to me and self fulfillment.


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