Journal Entry

Im so tired, sleep deprived....Last night I couldn't turn my brain off, calculating and adding up how many hours my husband works, dividing by his pay for two jobs and what his actual take home, money in the bank pay equals out to be per hour. If we could only make more, if I could just make some money on his days off....
When he came home at 11:30 it was way past my bed time to get enough sleep, I poured my heart, fears, worries, and frustrations out to him, the tears released my mind and finally rest came.....
Sooner than I'd like it was 5:30 the time he gets up and Im committed to wake up too so we have time to connect, pray, and read in the Word of God together our daily food for the soul.
Unplanned but pretty common my youngest wakes up soon after we finish reading Proverbs 3 and I'm pouring my wake up cup of coffee,
I react with childlike selfishness, the thoughts of "I don't wanna" rose inside and I quickly stormed off to the back porch to soothe my childish thoughts with the flood of birds chirping and soon i was calm enough to greet my early riser with love and make his breakfast.
As I put the waffle in the toaster oven he quickly reacts with a hit on my leg and throwing himself down on the floor, I am still half awake at this time, hadn't touched my coffee and his request to put the waffle in the toaster oven was barely registered in my brain, he didn't approve. As anger and frustration grew in me I once again removed myself from the child and kitchen to the serene and peaceful scene on my back porch to still my mind and wait for him to calm down.
Daddy corrected his behavior and had him come give me a hug. I hugged him, oh how I love those babies hugs and wet sugars. I finished making his waffle and all is well once again.
The storms in our lives come and go like tyrrant waves crashing against a rocky coast line, water splashing over the other side of the boulder sized rocks-
Gods grace crashes on the rocks of our broken shorelines of emotions-
His waters soothe our heart, mind and soul with His love, His hope, His Peace, His comfort-
it is the home of nature where our souls long to be still and quiet within His gentle Presence.
He captivates our childlike wonder and curiosity with His grandiose promises of which no travel or venture in this world can give or offer.
He stills my wondering, calculating mind with His truth-
My trust in Him allows my mind to cease it's never ending thirst for answers and knowledge-
He's showed me His hand of love, which is greater
it quenches my curiosity, it is salve for all my wounds of the past and it is light in the darkness of what is still unknown of the present and the future yet to come.


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